I don't recall what Nocona smelled like when we first met. He was such a tiny little thing, a little off-white colored baby, so small that the woman who found him had thought initially that he was a mouse. She would have liked to have kept him, but her husband said no, they already had a dog and had no need of a cat.
I had been working at the Veterinary Clinic for about 6 months when the woman called and I had recently decided that I wanted a kitten. I come from a long line of dog people and had always been one myself, so it had taken me a while to warm up to felines and discover that they are not all the standoffish demanding meanies that they are made out to be.
I told the woman that I was interested and would come by to have a look at the kitten that night, which was a Friday, but that I would not take the kitten until Monday morning, so that I could bring it directly to the clinic for a check up. I didn't mention that I figured the poor little thing was probably infested with fleas, having likely been born to a homeless cat.
Of course, the minute I saw his little baby blue eyed face I could not put him down, never mind leave him behind for 2 days. It was love at first sight. He was the sweetest, tiniest kitten I have ever seen, eventually, we figured that he was about 3 weeks old when he was found. His little beige on cream markings showed him to be a tabby. The woman never saw any other cats or kittens in her yard, so I had no idea what his birth family was like, but I was determined to be the best adoptive mother I could be. Obviously, he went home with me that night...fleas - and there were a LOT of them - and all.
That was the start of our love affair. My life changed in many of the ways life changes when you have a child. I hated to leave for work in the morning and I worried all day about how he was and what he was doing. I could not not home fast enough each night. We played hide and seek (seriously, we did, he both hid and sought) and a game I called the Under The Blankie Game, in which I would wiggle my fingers under a blanket and he would stalk and attack. I had so many little scratches on my hands that people thought I had been in some kind of accident. It was worth it to entertain my little guy.
He was always so clean, grooming himself to a T and even keeping his own nails short. Even when I first brought him home he managed to get in and out of the littler box, which was higher than he stood.
It is hard to believe that that was 17 years ago. We've been through a lot together, my handsome Nocona and I. We adopted a sister for him 16 years ago and then another little sister entered the picture years after that. He weathered the need to share me with another man when I married and then he withstood the trials and tribulations of two little girls with surprising grace and patience.
He had never been sick, but I did have to have the tip of his tail amputated after he somehow got it through the protective grate of the oscillating fan. That was probably almost as traumatic for me as it was for him.
So, 17 years have passed and I still remember and can feel the weight of him in the palm of my had, I remember the shape of his little baby eyes, but I don't remember any particular scent.
Now, however there is a scent. Not a nice one. About 2 weeks ago I realized that he has gotten even thinner, he is really just fur and bone. I know he is drinking his water, but I can;t tell if he is drinking more or less than he used to, and I am not sure how much he is eating. Is the weight loss due to the normal age-related loss of smell? Or is there a disease eating away at him? He has seemed a little "away" for several months but I figured that a little dementia is not too big a problem as long as he is still happy. He has not seemed to be in any pain, but now there is this smell, not a good, not a healthy smell. And last night he cried out periodically, from different areas of the house. He has never been a "talker" so this is unusual for him. Is he in pain, or is he confused from dementia? What if he is in pain?
We will be going to the vet this week, if I can, I'll wait until Saturday, so I can leave the kids at home with their daddy, I have a terrible feeling that I will be coming home alone. Unlike that night 17 years ago when I brought home a fuzzy little bundle I never expected to love so very, very much.
Nocona had significant kidney disease and was euthanized in May 2009. He will never be forgotten and can never be replaced.
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