I realize that this is going to make me sound old, but just the same, I must admit to asking myself "What is this world coming to?" and "What is wrong with young people today?" on a number of occasions lately.
For starters, let's look at the HEC students who claim they were trying to honor a famous Jamaican athlete by wearing blackface (and arms & and legs!) and sporting fake dreadlocks, wearing Jamaican-style hats and chanting with put on accents about smoking marijuana. (http://www.montrealgazette.com/life/Blackface+stunt+says+students+didn+want+offend+anyone/5409544/story.html)
Seriously? Maybe they are lying when they say this was an attempt at an homage, perhaps this is simply an attempt to salvage their personal reputations and that of the school. I actually almost hope that this is the case. What would be worse - outright, naked and blatant racism and disregard for blacks in general and Jamaicans in particular, or the level of complete and utter ignorance of what constitutes acceptable or unacceptable behavior?
This was not a case of one or two or even 10 university age students who were raised and educated, somehow, without one iota of sense, sensibility or sensitivity for black people. This was a large group of individuals who apparently had no idea that anyone would be insulted by their demeaning portrayal of Jamaicans Did not one of these people think that this was not right? Did no one who knew about the "prank" point out the wrong-headedness of the plan - and the reasons why it would be hurtful and offensive?
While I was concerned when I read about this incident, I filed it away in my mind as just one incident. If you read the article about it, you may have done the same thing I did. But, I am no longer able to think of this as a one-off, or an isolated incident, because of another recent appalling incident at L'Universite de Montreal.
This young man, a university student, was told to come to the first day of classes in costume, the outfit had to be health-science related and incorporate the color red. He chose to wear a lab coat, with blood-red hand prints on it, and the name "Mengele" written across the back.
In what perverse world would anyone find this appropriate? He removed the costume within about 30 minutes, after being asked to remove it and after several people told him it crossed the line. The young man issued a heartfelt apology, and apparently "This kid, he really didn't do it out of malice. He had no idea this could be so hurtful".
Well, isn't that nice, he made a mistake and he apologized. I, myself, do not feel the need to rake this young man over the coals - but, lets not fool ourselves - he is not a "kid", he is an adult. So, apology accepted, but my question remains - how could someone in Canada in 2011, not be aware of how heinous Josef Megele was? I know from my own high school reading (personal, not assigned, mind you) of what that evil man did and my heart still aches when I think of his victims. How is it possible that a young man, considered intelligent and educated enough to qualify for further studies at L'University de Montreal think that a portrayal of Joseph Mengele for the purpose of amusement would be a good idea? What is wrong with this guy's parents? His educational system? His conscience? His friends, who presumably also though this was okay?
Perhaps we should all be equally concerned about the students who make it though the school system as well as the ones who drop out.
If this is the kind of thinking, that we as a society are creating, we should all be ashamed of ourselves.
(http://www.montrealgazette.com/news/todays-paper/Investigation+into+student+dressed+Mengele+ends/5480316/story.html)
Claudine Dionne is an anglophone of Scottish and French descent, who would be thrilled to raise her children to be color blind.
Saturday, October 22, 2011
Monday, September 5, 2011
Moving On....
September 5, 2011
Moving on…..
When I was growing up, there was a little shopping centre right beside the sources overpass for highway 20. Well, the shopping centre is still there, but it has certainly seen better days.
Those days were my kid days. We lived about a 15 minute walk down Sources from that little shopping centre. We lived in Tudor Court in Pointe Claire, quite literally across the street from Dorval. When I was in high school the city built a cross walk and put up traffic lights at Chanteclerc on our side of Sources and Mount Pleasant on the other side. Prior to that, we would just walk up the dividing area of grass that had a chain-link fence separating the two sides, until we came to a hole cut in the fence, or the spot on the overpass where the fence ended and then we would crossed over the boulevard. Looking back as an adult, I can’t believe that we did that…so dangerous!
From my bedroom, at night, I could, and often did look towards the overpass, where I could see the big red “D” with the green maple leaf in it, lit up in all its glory, letting everyone know where the Dominion grocery store was. The big "D" was on a big square at the top of a little tower perched on the roof of the mall. That is where we did our groceries for years. When my best friend Dana and I had a sleep over, we would buy a bag of candy each at that Dominion. I probably got a bag of licorice All Sorts and Dana probably got a bag of Jujubes or Wine Gums. I can still see the layout of the store and the checkout counters in my mind’s eye. In fact, at some point in my life I had a recurring dream about doing a huge order of groceries, but when I got to the cash and everything was punched in, I didn’t have enough money to pay, and the dream took place in that Dominion store.
Our Deli was there too, where my mom would buy our sandwich meats and other stuff. We called it Tony’s, that wasn’t the store’s name, but it was the owner’s name, my mom tells me. There was an older (for me at the time, anyway) German lady with short blond curly hair who worked at Tony’s. She always seemed grouchy, but she would cheer up as mom chatted with her. I wonder now about her story…who was she? Where did she live, where was she from? I’d love to interview her now. I’ll bet that if I found her (which is impossible, unless someone reading this knows the woman and puts her in contact with me!) she would think her life was too boring for an interview. I’ll bet most people are like that…not realizing how interesting their life story may be to others.
Janet Florist was in the mall too. Janet was deaf, but she had her own business and did a good job of it. She did the flowers for my sisters wedding, and then many, many years later, she did the flowers for my wedding too, but from a new location on Donegani and Valois Bay. The mall’s Betty Brite dry cleaners was where our winter coats and such were dropped off for cleaning, and the hair salon BJ’s was where Dana and I think her mom and sister too, got their hair cut. There was also an optician, as I recall. There were other shops too, but I don’t remember what they were.
The years passed and eventually the Dominion supermarket was closed. I guess that had a significant effect on all the shops. A flea market would set up in the mall on Sundays and Tony’s would be open that day for business. Various other things popped up in the old Dominion space, a club for kids, bingo, but nothing lasted very long.
There was a small bar in the mall, called the Kachette. In the days before I was 18 my mom and I would go sometimes for brunch on a Saturday or Sunday. Years later, the Kachette, or Kache to me, would become my favorite place to go dancing and socializing with friends. It was kind of a dive, certainly not classy, but I loved it and to this day, I miss the Kache. The owner sold the Kachette a couple years before the mall closed down adn someone opened it back up as Bar Fonzi. It just didn't take, you know what I mean? A new Kachette opened up a year or 2 ago, in a different location, but I just can’t go…it wouldn’t be the same. And the DJ wouldn’t play all my requests, like he did in the old days (thanks Dan!).
The mall seems to have “officially” closed down in 2005. Everything had closed down but a “new” pub called Savannah’s which kept going for a few years…I don’t know how. I had heard that the whole building was condemned by the fire department, but how could a pub be opened in a condemned building? There is a website that lists closed or abandoned building for “urban exploring” and it says that the flea market stuff is still in there and is really interesting. There are pictures too. They couldn’t find access to the rest of the mall. Too bad, I would love to see pictures from the shops and Kachette.
Anyway, I pass by the place often, as I live even closer to it now than I did when I was a kid, and it just makes me sad to see it, empty, boarded up and graffitied. All those business and the lives attached to them, moved out and moved on. Apparently, in 2005 the place was up for sale for $275,0000 including the empty lot next door, where the Hydro station used to be.
Anyone up for reviving an old mall and quieting some old ghosts?
Moving on…..
When I was growing up, there was a little shopping centre right beside the sources overpass for highway 20. Well, the shopping centre is still there, but it has certainly seen better days.
Those days were my kid days. We lived about a 15 minute walk down Sources from that little shopping centre. We lived in Tudor Court in Pointe Claire, quite literally across the street from Dorval. When I was in high school the city built a cross walk and put up traffic lights at Chanteclerc on our side of Sources and Mount Pleasant on the other side. Prior to that, we would just walk up the dividing area of grass that had a chain-link fence separating the two sides, until we came to a hole cut in the fence, or the spot on the overpass where the fence ended and then we would crossed over the boulevard. Looking back as an adult, I can’t believe that we did that…so dangerous!
From my bedroom, at night, I could, and often did look towards the overpass, where I could see the big red “D” with the green maple leaf in it, lit up in all its glory, letting everyone know where the Dominion grocery store was. The big "D" was on a big square at the top of a little tower perched on the roof of the mall. That is where we did our groceries for years. When my best friend Dana and I had a sleep over, we would buy a bag of candy each at that Dominion. I probably got a bag of licorice All Sorts and Dana probably got a bag of Jujubes or Wine Gums. I can still see the layout of the store and the checkout counters in my mind’s eye. In fact, at some point in my life I had a recurring dream about doing a huge order of groceries, but when I got to the cash and everything was punched in, I didn’t have enough money to pay, and the dream took place in that Dominion store.
Our Deli was there too, where my mom would buy our sandwich meats and other stuff. We called it Tony’s, that wasn’t the store’s name, but it was the owner’s name, my mom tells me. There was an older (for me at the time, anyway) German lady with short blond curly hair who worked at Tony’s. She always seemed grouchy, but she would cheer up as mom chatted with her. I wonder now about her story…who was she? Where did she live, where was she from? I’d love to interview her now. I’ll bet that if I found her (which is impossible, unless someone reading this knows the woman and puts her in contact with me!) she would think her life was too boring for an interview. I’ll bet most people are like that…not realizing how interesting their life story may be to others.
Janet Florist was in the mall too. Janet was deaf, but she had her own business and did a good job of it. She did the flowers for my sisters wedding, and then many, many years later, she did the flowers for my wedding too, but from a new location on Donegani and Valois Bay. The mall’s Betty Brite dry cleaners was where our winter coats and such were dropped off for cleaning, and the hair salon BJ’s was where Dana and I think her mom and sister too, got their hair cut. There was also an optician, as I recall. There were other shops too, but I don’t remember what they were.
The years passed and eventually the Dominion supermarket was closed. I guess that had a significant effect on all the shops. A flea market would set up in the mall on Sundays and Tony’s would be open that day for business. Various other things popped up in the old Dominion space, a club for kids, bingo, but nothing lasted very long.
There was a small bar in the mall, called the Kachette. In the days before I was 18 my mom and I would go sometimes for brunch on a Saturday or Sunday. Years later, the Kachette, or Kache to me, would become my favorite place to go dancing and socializing with friends. It was kind of a dive, certainly not classy, but I loved it and to this day, I miss the Kache. The owner sold the Kachette a couple years before the mall closed down adn someone opened it back up as Bar Fonzi. It just didn't take, you know what I mean? A new Kachette opened up a year or 2 ago, in a different location, but I just can’t go…it wouldn’t be the same. And the DJ wouldn’t play all my requests, like he did in the old days (thanks Dan!).
The mall seems to have “officially” closed down in 2005. Everything had closed down but a “new” pub called Savannah’s which kept going for a few years…I don’t know how. I had heard that the whole building was condemned by the fire department, but how could a pub be opened in a condemned building? There is a website that lists closed or abandoned building for “urban exploring” and it says that the flea market stuff is still in there and is really interesting. There are pictures too. They couldn’t find access to the rest of the mall. Too bad, I would love to see pictures from the shops and Kachette.
Anyway, I pass by the place often, as I live even closer to it now than I did when I was a kid, and it just makes me sad to see it, empty, boarded up and graffitied. All those business and the lives attached to them, moved out and moved on. Apparently, in 2005 the place was up for sale for $275,0000 including the empty lot next door, where the Hydro station used to be.
Anyone up for reviving an old mall and quieting some old ghosts?
Monday, June 6, 2011
Haiku to You
Last night, as I was finally relaxing enough to drift off to sleep and my mind was starting to wander towards dreamland, the first line of a Haiku came to me. "Grey dove flying, dips her wing". I counted out the syllables...hmm, it works. But I didn't like the "flying" so I changed it to "soaring". I had a lovely picture of it in my mind...a beautiful visual of a dove, floating through the air, dipping her wing in greeting...then she dipped her wing and ever so lightly touched the surface of a pond, sending ripples out in ever wider rings...and I thought, there is my second line!
So, after awhile I came up with a couple possibilities for the second line, but then I realized I had almost forgotten the first line, so I decided to get up. I went downstairs and wrote out my first line then played with the second line...I saw orangy colored fish rising to the surface of the pond, their fishy lips gobbling insects and creating those same concentric circles of water. I wanted my last line to start "my heart..." but, that was just not working out. Everything I wrote sounded sucky or dramatic. Finally, I was happy with this:
Grey dove soaring, dips her wing
Koi rise to surface
Shade my eyes, to think of you
I am no Basho. But I like it. I feel that it was worth getting out of bed wo write, even if no one else ever sees it. I think Basho would like the attitude, if not the amateurish poetry.
P.S. When I got back into bed my husband said "what is it? Are you okay?" When I told him why I got up he kinda laughed. he thinks I'm a nutbar, I think. S'alright. :)
So, after awhile I came up with a couple possibilities for the second line, but then I realized I had almost forgotten the first line, so I decided to get up. I went downstairs and wrote out my first line then played with the second line...I saw orangy colored fish rising to the surface of the pond, their fishy lips gobbling insects and creating those same concentric circles of water. I wanted my last line to start "my heart..." but, that was just not working out. Everything I wrote sounded sucky or dramatic. Finally, I was happy with this:
Grey dove soaring, dips her wing
Koi rise to surface
Shade my eyes, to think of you
I am no Basho. But I like it. I feel that it was worth getting out of bed wo write, even if no one else ever sees it. I think Basho would like the attitude, if not the amateurish poetry.
P.S. When I got back into bed my husband said "what is it? Are you okay?" When I told him why I got up he kinda laughed. he thinks I'm a nutbar, I think. S'alright. :)
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
The Let Down
This is less of a blog post than it is a rant. Sorry to all readers, but I have no girlfriends available and I just didn't feel that this would be an appropriate Status for Facebook...which leaves the Blog as the only recourse.
Now, for the ddisclaimer. I am well aware that there are more important thing going on in the world. Internationally my heart goes out to the women in Congo, the people of the Sudan and other strife torn African countries, including Egypt and I pray for those in the Arab world. Right here in Canada we have several new members of Parliament who are fresh-faced, eager and barely of drinking age. Mind you, as Jack Layton pointed out, we send our young people to Afghanistan, so why not to Ottawa? Good point, Mr. Layton! In my church family we have several people who are ill, some very seriously ill, and I do not mean to demean these life-threatening conditions with the pathetic whining I am about to launch into. Even in my own family, we have a baby just past-due to be born, whose Daddy is not well and may need a kidney transplant sometime soon. The complaints which are to follow are, in comparison, self-indulgent, I know.
That being said, I am still allowed to get my frustrations out and I appreciate your patience with my childish behavior.
So, has anyone taken a gander at the myriad of paint color available to the average home owner lately? There are thousands of choices of shades and several finishes, each with its own advantages, disadvantages and price. Then, each company has its own thousands of choices...so go from one company to the next and you get somewhat overwhelmed!
We will be moving into our new house in several weeks (yes, a great blessing for which I am grateful and stressed out over at the same time) and we will be painting the whole thing. Which is fantastic and also a lot of work. And I'm not even doing the actual painting...just the color and finish selection. I have spent a total of about 5 hours (so far) looking at and selecting possible color schemes for the house. The first rounds were done at Home Depot, checking out the Behr colors and the Disney Colors line. I found some great coordinating schemes and presented them to Stephen.
I now know that Stephen does not like blue. Not as a wall or accent color, anyway. This is kind of a pain for me, because my natural tendency is to go to greens and yellows and I was hoping to get myself into the blues as a switcheroo. That is not to be. No problem, I can work with that. I was also hoping to have Zoe and Charlotte's room done in mauves, but Stephen pointed out that he really likes Zoe's current room, which is bright yellow and orange with royal blue accents - this color scheme is one I made using a pretty quilted wall hanging that was made for newborn Zoe as inspiration. No problem, yellow and orange are my favorite colors, so I will decorate their room (and find more bedding, I guess) to follow this pattern.
I have also recently discovered that Stephen seems to want to have brown as the accent color throughout most of the house. I, myself and not fold of brown in the house, aside from my wooden furniture. The furniture makes for enough brown...I want the wall and trim color to accent the furniture, not blend into it. I would be okay with one room having a light brown as trim (Behr Desert Willow is lovely)...but not the three main rooms of the house.
Given that the first round of presentations didn't yield an agreement of the colors with the exception of one bathroom, yyesterday I spent a couple hours online with my new best friend, Benjamin Moore. I told Stephen last night that if anything ever happens to him, I am going to remarry Benjamin Moore. Why? Because I discovered the Historical color palette. I am IN LOVE with this palette of colors, I think that they were made for me. After school, all of us Wishart girls made the trek to The Hub in Beaconsfield, to look at the Benjamin Moore colors in "real life".
I coordinated the upstairs entryway, stairs, up and downstairs hallways, living room, dining room and kitchen in beautiful quite neutral shades (Stephen is very into what he calls earth tones). If anyone is curious and has time to check out the totally awesome Ben Moore Historical color palette, I chose Hepplewhite Ivory for all the walls (except the kitchen) and Anjou Pear for the door and window frames and the facing of the stairs - I can never remember what that part is actually called. In the dining room I plan a chair rail and the wall below that would be painted Van Cortland Blue, which is a very grey blue that I am trying to sneak in. :) There is not much wall in the kitchen and I would like it painted Salisbury green - which is an excellent match to the Hepplewhite and the van cortland blue also. The up and down hallways and entrance would be Hepplewhite and Anjou pear.
Last night, my very excited show-and-tell about the colors was interrupted at this point. Stephen is not sure about the Anjou Pear color...I can live with this it can be adjusted. We moved on...or tried to. I had to explain the chair rail (again), then I had to differentiate between a chair rail and wainscoting. Then I had to defend the cost of putting up a chair rail (probably something like $15.00!), then I had to defend the extra work for the painters. Then I had to explain about 8 times that the green of the kitchen will never actually touch the blue of the dining room because of the kitchen counter extending between the dining room and the kitchen and the chair rail being at the height of the counter. The green will only touch the Hepplewhite. But, in any case, the blue and green were chosen specifically to coordinate...Sigh.
Then Stephen started saying how he is really not against the expense of a consultation with an interior decorator. I pointed out that this had been my idea in the first place, and he had already agreed, which is why I already have an appointment scheduled for May 30th. But we can't just have her come in, look at our furniture, ask us a couple questions and then have her choose our colors. He wondered why not? I pointed out that I had spent 5 hours of work that he has not even bothered to see half of before bursting my bubble and the decorator charges $70.00 an hour!
Maybe I should just tell him to pay me my $350.00 and let the decorator take over. Except that I should also get Hazard Pay, because I did my work with a preschooler and toddler in tow.
In any case, for those of you who still care, I also choose the colors for the master bedroom (Hawthorn Yellow and High Park, the family room - Buttermilk, the ceilings - Oxford White and the downstairs bathroom - which I am positive Stephen will veto - Purple Easter Egg (It sounds hideous, I know! But it is a nice lavender...I may want to go paler, though). The girls shared bedroom will be in Disney colors, Bouncy Bouncy Orange (trim) and Sunny Spot Yellow (walls) with Infinity and Beyond Blue accents. Faith's room remains in Behr colors, soft pinks, and the upstairs bathroom is Behr too, in monochromatic shades of blue.
I guess my questions is this - why must he ruin my fun? It is not that he disagrees with a color choice, that is fine, I can change it completely or tweak the shade. It is the almost immediate call for the decorator - which does not imply but rather screams that I am considered inadequate to the task and the lack of any understanding whatsoever as to how much work this actually was - I mean, yes, I do enjoy it to a point, but I also want to get it over with.
You have no idea the discussions we have about him - his work, his this, this that...mostly his work. Rarely are the discussions about me - unless we are discussing the lack of housekeeping or the money spent. Here was a prime opportunity to have a fun talk about something I have been working on, which is, as usual, of benefit to our family. But it was not a fun talk, it was an absolute and complete downer. My excitement over finding a Historical palette of colors made for me? Evaporated. The pretty pictures in my head of the house all dressed up in these colors? Gone. Frankly, right now, I don't even like the house. It is too small, has no open space for the computer and the purchase was a mistake - made only because the price was so good and the location excellent for proximity to friends. Hopefully tomorrow I will feel a little more positive about the upcoming move. And no, this is not PMS.
Last night I was so frustrated I was almost ready to say -go ahead and paint the whole damned house beige if you want. But I knew that I would then hate the house and resent him for the next 10 years because that is at least how long it will be before I can convince him that the house needs a fresh coat of paint. And if you know my husband, you will know that I am not exaggerating. 10 years. At least.
Stephen is now almost on board with the chair rail and realizes that we have to present the decorator with our ideas for colors so that she has something to work with. Then, I welcome her opinions as to what might work better with the house's lighting and the likely layout of the furniture and so on.
Well, after all that "ventilation", I don't actually feel any less frustrated. Hmm, strange. Usually if I let it all out I feel better. Maybe I should eat something...that will even out my mood, I'm sure. In the meantime, thanks for being my ear.
Onward and upward!
Now, for the ddisclaimer. I am well aware that there are more important thing going on in the world. Internationally my heart goes out to the women in Congo, the people of the Sudan and other strife torn African countries, including Egypt and I pray for those in the Arab world. Right here in Canada we have several new members of Parliament who are fresh-faced, eager and barely of drinking age. Mind you, as Jack Layton pointed out, we send our young people to Afghanistan, so why not to Ottawa? Good point, Mr. Layton! In my church family we have several people who are ill, some very seriously ill, and I do not mean to demean these life-threatening conditions with the pathetic whining I am about to launch into. Even in my own family, we have a baby just past-due to be born, whose Daddy is not well and may need a kidney transplant sometime soon. The complaints which are to follow are, in comparison, self-indulgent, I know.
That being said, I am still allowed to get my frustrations out and I appreciate your patience with my childish behavior.
So, has anyone taken a gander at the myriad of paint color available to the average home owner lately? There are thousands of choices of shades and several finishes, each with its own advantages, disadvantages and price. Then, each company has its own thousands of choices...so go from one company to the next and you get somewhat overwhelmed!
We will be moving into our new house in several weeks (yes, a great blessing for which I am grateful and stressed out over at the same time) and we will be painting the whole thing. Which is fantastic and also a lot of work. And I'm not even doing the actual painting...just the color and finish selection. I have spent a total of about 5 hours (so far) looking at and selecting possible color schemes for the house. The first rounds were done at Home Depot, checking out the Behr colors and the Disney Colors line. I found some great coordinating schemes and presented them to Stephen.
I now know that Stephen does not like blue. Not as a wall or accent color, anyway. This is kind of a pain for me, because my natural tendency is to go to greens and yellows and I was hoping to get myself into the blues as a switcheroo. That is not to be. No problem, I can work with that. I was also hoping to have Zoe and Charlotte's room done in mauves, but Stephen pointed out that he really likes Zoe's current room, which is bright yellow and orange with royal blue accents - this color scheme is one I made using a pretty quilted wall hanging that was made for newborn Zoe as inspiration. No problem, yellow and orange are my favorite colors, so I will decorate their room (and find more bedding, I guess) to follow this pattern.
I have also recently discovered that Stephen seems to want to have brown as the accent color throughout most of the house. I, myself and not fold of brown in the house, aside from my wooden furniture. The furniture makes for enough brown...I want the wall and trim color to accent the furniture, not blend into it. I would be okay with one room having a light brown as trim (Behr Desert Willow is lovely)...but not the three main rooms of the house.
Given that the first round of presentations didn't yield an agreement of the colors with the exception of one bathroom, yyesterday I spent a couple hours online with my new best friend, Benjamin Moore. I told Stephen last night that if anything ever happens to him, I am going to remarry Benjamin Moore. Why? Because I discovered the Historical color palette. I am IN LOVE with this palette of colors, I think that they were made for me. After school, all of us Wishart girls made the trek to The Hub in Beaconsfield, to look at the Benjamin Moore colors in "real life".
I coordinated the upstairs entryway, stairs, up and downstairs hallways, living room, dining room and kitchen in beautiful quite neutral shades (Stephen is very into what he calls earth tones). If anyone is curious and has time to check out the totally awesome Ben Moore Historical color palette, I chose Hepplewhite Ivory for all the walls (except the kitchen) and Anjou Pear for the door and window frames and the facing of the stairs - I can never remember what that part is actually called. In the dining room I plan a chair rail and the wall below that would be painted Van Cortland Blue, which is a very grey blue that I am trying to sneak in. :) There is not much wall in the kitchen and I would like it painted Salisbury green - which is an excellent match to the Hepplewhite and the van cortland blue also. The up and down hallways and entrance would be Hepplewhite and Anjou pear.
Last night, my very excited show-and-tell about the colors was interrupted at this point. Stephen is not sure about the Anjou Pear color...I can live with this it can be adjusted. We moved on...or tried to. I had to explain the chair rail (again), then I had to differentiate between a chair rail and wainscoting. Then I had to defend the cost of putting up a chair rail (probably something like $15.00!), then I had to defend the extra work for the painters. Then I had to explain about 8 times that the green of the kitchen will never actually touch the blue of the dining room because of the kitchen counter extending between the dining room and the kitchen and the chair rail being at the height of the counter. The green will only touch the Hepplewhite. But, in any case, the blue and green were chosen specifically to coordinate...Sigh.
Then Stephen started saying how he is really not against the expense of a consultation with an interior decorator. I pointed out that this had been my idea in the first place, and he had already agreed, which is why I already have an appointment scheduled for May 30th. But we can't just have her come in, look at our furniture, ask us a couple questions and then have her choose our colors. He wondered why not? I pointed out that I had spent 5 hours of work that he has not even bothered to see half of before bursting my bubble and the decorator charges $70.00 an hour!
Maybe I should just tell him to pay me my $350.00 and let the decorator take over. Except that I should also get Hazard Pay, because I did my work with a preschooler and toddler in tow.
In any case, for those of you who still care, I also choose the colors for the master bedroom (Hawthorn Yellow and High Park, the family room - Buttermilk, the ceilings - Oxford White and the downstairs bathroom - which I am positive Stephen will veto - Purple Easter Egg (It sounds hideous, I know! But it is a nice lavender...I may want to go paler, though). The girls shared bedroom will be in Disney colors, Bouncy Bouncy Orange (trim) and Sunny Spot Yellow (walls) with Infinity and Beyond Blue accents. Faith's room remains in Behr colors, soft pinks, and the upstairs bathroom is Behr too, in monochromatic shades of blue.
I guess my questions is this - why must he ruin my fun? It is not that he disagrees with a color choice, that is fine, I can change it completely or tweak the shade. It is the almost immediate call for the decorator - which does not imply but rather screams that I am considered inadequate to the task and the lack of any understanding whatsoever as to how much work this actually was - I mean, yes, I do enjoy it to a point, but I also want to get it over with.
You have no idea the discussions we have about him - his work, his this, this that...mostly his work. Rarely are the discussions about me - unless we are discussing the lack of housekeeping or the money spent. Here was a prime opportunity to have a fun talk about something I have been working on, which is, as usual, of benefit to our family. But it was not a fun talk, it was an absolute and complete downer. My excitement over finding a Historical palette of colors made for me? Evaporated. The pretty pictures in my head of the house all dressed up in these colors? Gone. Frankly, right now, I don't even like the house. It is too small, has no open space for the computer and the purchase was a mistake - made only because the price was so good and the location excellent for proximity to friends. Hopefully tomorrow I will feel a little more positive about the upcoming move. And no, this is not PMS.
Last night I was so frustrated I was almost ready to say -go ahead and paint the whole damned house beige if you want. But I knew that I would then hate the house and resent him for the next 10 years because that is at least how long it will be before I can convince him that the house needs a fresh coat of paint. And if you know my husband, you will know that I am not exaggerating. 10 years. At least.
Stephen is now almost on board with the chair rail and realizes that we have to present the decorator with our ideas for colors so that she has something to work with. Then, I welcome her opinions as to what might work better with the house's lighting and the likely layout of the furniture and so on.
Well, after all that "ventilation", I don't actually feel any less frustrated. Hmm, strange. Usually if I let it all out I feel better. Maybe I should eat something...that will even out my mood, I'm sure. In the meantime, thanks for being my ear.
Onward and upward!
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
My Letter to the Canada Revenue Agency
Before giving you the actual letter, let me give you the backround. The year my third child was born, 2009, was the second year we used an accountant to do our taxes. Our accountant is great, we discovered stuff we could have been claiming for years that we had no idea about (yahoo retroactive refunds!). Unfortunately, on the forms for 2009, though, he omitted to indicate that we had welcomed a new baby to the family that year. As a result, we have never received the Canada Child Tax Credit for Faith. I started the application process some months ago, never thinking that it would be an arduous process. Along with the application form I sent in Faith's Declaration of Birth and copies of both my husband and my birth certificates. Should be sufficient, right? Wrong.
Dear Mme. Picard,
Let me preface my comments below by stating clearly that I recognize that you are not personally responsible for the regulations you are employed to enforce and that I do not mean in any way to criticize you or your work personally.
I realize that it is necessary for the CRA to prevent fraud as much as possible and I do appreciate this, as we pay our taxes honestly, fairly and fully and it drives us a little crazy to think of the many people & corporations that get away with shortchanging the government and therefore the citizens of Canada. That being said, I find the requirement for three documents providing evidence that I am the primary caregiver to my daughter Faith to be somewhat extreme and even in a sense, discriminatory.
Given that my husband and I chose to marry, rather live common-law, we have accepted a certain amount of discriminatory treatment under the tax codes of both our province and our Nation. Then we had the audacity to decide to make the lifestyle sacrifices necessary so that I could leave the world of paid work and stay home to raise our children. This has, once again, negatively affected us under taxation laws.
I now find that I am required even to prove that I am the primary caregiver of my third child before I can collect the (much appreciated) tax benefit allocated to us by the Conservative government of Canada. As stated, I am a stay-at-home mother. There is no nursery school or other school authority to whom I can appeal for proof of my active child rearing. I could, in fact argue that the primary nature of my responsibility for the care of my child is attested to by the lack of such “schooling”.
My youngest daughter Faith is not yet 2 years old at the time of this writing and we do not belong to any children’s club. Although I enrolled in a variety of classes/activities with my first and even second child, this poor baby suffers from “third child syndrome” and has not been enrolled in any classes for herself. You will find enclosed the best I can provide by way of attestation from official parties at the West Island Women’s Centre to the fact that I am, indeed, raising my daughter Faith, and she does live with my husband and myself.
My husband happens to be a lawyer. Should he provide a letter certifying that we are happily married, reside at the same address and that I am most certainly the primary caregiver due to his long hours of work?
My family attends a church that is Brethren based and is guided by Elders, not a minister or priest. I have, however, enclosed such documentation of our intact family unit as I am able to provide and hope that this will suffice.
Also enclosed is a letter from my children’s pediatrician who is concerned about signing such statements as these lest they be used as ammunition if there is a nasty divorce sometime down the road. She therefore refuses to indicate that one parent is the primary caretaker. As I am concerned that this will be insufficient for the Canada Revenue Agency, I have included a statement from my Nurse Practitioner, attesting to my role as primary caregiver to my daughter.
I sincerely hope that the evidence provided is suitable for the CRA to determine that I am, in fact, primarily responsible for the care and upbringing of my daughter Faith. If further proof is necessary, please feel free to drop in unannounced anytime and witness my fatigued self and the obvious evidence of a toddler’s full time presence in the home, which is strewn about the living room no matter how often I pick up.
Best regards,
Dear Mme. Picard,
Let me preface my comments below by stating clearly that I recognize that you are not personally responsible for the regulations you are employed to enforce and that I do not mean in any way to criticize you or your work personally.
I realize that it is necessary for the CRA to prevent fraud as much as possible and I do appreciate this, as we pay our taxes honestly, fairly and fully and it drives us a little crazy to think of the many people & corporations that get away with shortchanging the government and therefore the citizens of Canada. That being said, I find the requirement for three documents providing evidence that I am the primary caregiver to my daughter Faith to be somewhat extreme and even in a sense, discriminatory.
Given that my husband and I chose to marry, rather live common-law, we have accepted a certain amount of discriminatory treatment under the tax codes of both our province and our Nation. Then we had the audacity to decide to make the lifestyle sacrifices necessary so that I could leave the world of paid work and stay home to raise our children. This has, once again, negatively affected us under taxation laws.
I now find that I am required even to prove that I am the primary caregiver of my third child before I can collect the (much appreciated) tax benefit allocated to us by the Conservative government of Canada. As stated, I am a stay-at-home mother. There is no nursery school or other school authority to whom I can appeal for proof of my active child rearing. I could, in fact argue that the primary nature of my responsibility for the care of my child is attested to by the lack of such “schooling”.
My youngest daughter Faith is not yet 2 years old at the time of this writing and we do not belong to any children’s club. Although I enrolled in a variety of classes/activities with my first and even second child, this poor baby suffers from “third child syndrome” and has not been enrolled in any classes for herself. You will find enclosed the best I can provide by way of attestation from official parties at the West Island Women’s Centre to the fact that I am, indeed, raising my daughter Faith, and she does live with my husband and myself.
My husband happens to be a lawyer. Should he provide a letter certifying that we are happily married, reside at the same address and that I am most certainly the primary caregiver due to his long hours of work?
My family attends a church that is Brethren based and is guided by Elders, not a minister or priest. I have, however, enclosed such documentation of our intact family unit as I am able to provide and hope that this will suffice.
Also enclosed is a letter from my children’s pediatrician who is concerned about signing such statements as these lest they be used as ammunition if there is a nasty divorce sometime down the road. She therefore refuses to indicate that one parent is the primary caretaker. As I am concerned that this will be insufficient for the Canada Revenue Agency, I have included a statement from my Nurse Practitioner, attesting to my role as primary caregiver to my daughter.
I sincerely hope that the evidence provided is suitable for the CRA to determine that I am, in fact, primarily responsible for the care and upbringing of my daughter Faith. If further proof is necessary, please feel free to drop in unannounced anytime and witness my fatigued self and the obvious evidence of a toddler’s full time presence in the home, which is strewn about the living room no matter how often I pick up.
Best regards,
Monday, March 28, 2011
Horray! I discovered what my gmail address is!
Well, hey, howdy hey! Since my last post there has really not been much writing going on. The Creative Writing workshop I used to attend at the West Island Women's Centre has changed days and I ahave been unable to attend the class for the last 2 or 3 sessions. This sucks in a really, really big way. However, I did write 2 haiku and a short piece when my fantastic workshop facilitatir, Trudy Kerman contacted me to see if I was keeping the faith. When I tried to log into this account to update the blog with these tidbits, I discovered that I had only a vague idea of what my username is and a faint hope that I recall the password. I seriously need crib notes for my technologies.
Anyhow, with things being what they are and life as busy as it is, and games that need playing on Facebook in all my spare moments after the kids are put to bed, I never did get around to trying to figure out how the heck to get into this blog. But, today, with renewed determination after a fantastic evening of comraderie and delicious food with my writing girlfriends (thank you so much for having us, Lynne!) as well as the difficulties loading Frontierville on facebook, here I am! I'm in!
Now, I sincerely hope that you are not expecting some deep insights or the beginning of The Great Canadian Novel, because you are sure to be disappointed. i do have a little letter that I'll be mailing off to the Canada Revenue Agency...once I manage to aquire all the related documentation required. And if I can find those little bits written months ago at Trudy's propmting I'll post those too.
The days are getting longer, so perhaps I'll feel more inclined to get some writing work done, along with all the housecleaning and laundry that needs my attention. It feel great to be back!
Anyhow, with things being what they are and life as busy as it is, and games that need playing on Facebook in all my spare moments after the kids are put to bed, I never did get around to trying to figure out how the heck to get into this blog. But, today, with renewed determination after a fantastic evening of comraderie and delicious food with my writing girlfriends (thank you so much for having us, Lynne!) as well as the difficulties loading Frontierville on facebook, here I am! I'm in!
Now, I sincerely hope that you are not expecting some deep insights or the beginning of The Great Canadian Novel, because you are sure to be disappointed. i do have a little letter that I'll be mailing off to the Canada Revenue Agency...once I manage to aquire all the related documentation required. And if I can find those little bits written months ago at Trudy's propmting I'll post those too.
The days are getting longer, so perhaps I'll feel more inclined to get some writing work done, along with all the housecleaning and laundry that needs my attention. It feel great to be back!
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Where are we Going?
Charlotte and I have a little game. She asks "Where we goween?" and I say "CRAZY!" and wave my arms around my head like a maniac and sometimes I add a little chase in for good measure. She shrieks as she runs away on her sturdy little legs, hair flying, giggles and shouts trailing her. She could play this game over and over and over, amused by the attention of my response to her query and the potential for a chase as only a child can be.
The game came about honestly enough, as one of Charlotte favorite questions is "Where we goween?". We don't actually have to be getting ready to head out the door for her to ask, she just wonders this aloud a few times a day. Perhaps she is destined to be a philosopher.
One day, when I was tired and feeling a bit frustrated she came up to me and asked in her sweet 2 1/2 year old's voice, eyes wide with love, trust and wonder, "Where we goween?" I looked at her and said with a sigh, "Crazy". She laughed her head off, thinking that my feeling sorry for myself was just a hoot and a half. Her laughter lightened my mood, her smile like helium, raising my spirits. So, when she asked again in a teasing tone, I said "CRAZY!" like a euphoric nutcase and waving my arms all about, I chased her around the living room, hooting all the way. Thus, a tradition was born.
Happily, Charlotte will never be aware of the melancholy that gave rise to her treasured game. All she will remember will be her kooky mommy, chasing her around the house, laughing along with her own squeals of delight. That is as it should be.
The game came about honestly enough, as one of Charlotte favorite questions is "Where we goween?". We don't actually have to be getting ready to head out the door for her to ask, she just wonders this aloud a few times a day. Perhaps she is destined to be a philosopher.
One day, when I was tired and feeling a bit frustrated she came up to me and asked in her sweet 2 1/2 year old's voice, eyes wide with love, trust and wonder, "Where we goween?" I looked at her and said with a sigh, "Crazy". She laughed her head off, thinking that my feeling sorry for myself was just a hoot and a half. Her laughter lightened my mood, her smile like helium, raising my spirits. So, when she asked again in a teasing tone, I said "CRAZY!" like a euphoric nutcase and waving my arms all about, I chased her around the living room, hooting all the way. Thus, a tradition was born.
Happily, Charlotte will never be aware of the melancholy that gave rise to her treasured game. All she will remember will be her kooky mommy, chasing her around the house, laughing along with her own squeals of delight. That is as it should be.
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